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Friday, November 2, 2007

Screenplay Comments IV

Bob Gregory writes further:

Yes, I think it's certainly possible that Jill would run off with
the handsome Clive, but I think you draw the move much too
sharply, with too little emotional confusion on her part. It would
round out her character if she showed rather more ambivalence
before throwing her lot in with Clive, though this could be
expressed after she'd made the move to actually run off with
him after Frank's killing. Confusing??
Can you work J K Galbraith into the script anywhere? Maybe as
a closet international terrorist (though it would have to be a big closet).

1 comment:

Richard McNally said...


I think you're right. I'm going to add a scene or two after the getaway in which Jill will express amazement at herself for having bolted out the door with Clive, and possibly misgivings. And your suggestion about JKG is enticing. I could have him just pop out of the closet in Clive's living room halfway through the story and he could start talking about how much he admires me and how he wishes I would spend more time with him, etc., etc. Actually this is just the kind of suggestion B movie producers are prone to make at script "development" meetings, without any humorous intent, this being one of the cardinal differences in writing a screenplay as opposed to a novel. Movies cost tons of money and the producers "suggestions" have to be taken seriously, no matter how absurd. Or at least one has to pretend to take them seriously. A fascinating window into the B movie world opens at

Thankzamillion for your thoughts.