Overall, I thought it was interesting, kind of an existential Pulp Fiction…
it had a very old-time feel, as if it should be set in the late 50’s or the
early 60’s, which you might want to consider changing it to as it would
add a starker, grittier feel to the piece. Also, it reads to me more like a
stage play than a film script…it’s loaded with dialogue and not much
happening visually that you would need it to be a film…it’s basically
people talking, shooting and driving around…something that can easily
be done on a stage… and I agree with Chris on the title . . . COCKED &
LOADED . . . you want to know what that's about.
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Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Writer/director Andrew Pascal (cf. Spin the Bottle on IMDb) writes:
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Andrew,
Thankzamillion for your comments. It seems I failed at one of most basic objectives--to keep changing locations so that it would read like a film instead of a stage play. That was on my mind all the time, and I thought I succeeded. Go figure. I appreciate having the reaction of a professional. Another thing it's lacking is a spine or through line--but in a way it has one, just the story of Clive, his life, his problems, his failures. Do you find the main plot points believable? Is Clive likable enough? Another thing it's lacking are voiceovers--apparently they are a classic component of a noir. Can't add them now, must do a lot of cutting, as you have rightly pointed out. And is there sufficient suspense?
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